135 | Dream Building, Pivoting and Slow Growth Equals Strong Roots with Mary Marantz
Your dreams are SO possible! Mary shares how thoughts determine actions, which drive results.
LISTEN TO THE EPISODE HERE:
Danielle is joined by the inspiring Mary Marantz who is a Bestselling Author of Dirt and Slow Growth Equals Strong Roots, a Speaker and Podcaster. Mary shares her story of growing up in a trailer in rural West Virginia, going to law school at Yale, then turning down a six-figure salary to pursue entrepreneurship!
We are so excited for you to hear this conversation, we dive into so many topics including building your dream, pivoting your brand, our thoughts and how they determine our actions and results, slow growth and so much more!
Grab a cup of coffee or tea and sit back, you are about to be so encouraged by this chat!
More about Mary Marantz:
Mary Marantz grew up in a trailer in rural West Virginia. The first of her immediate family to go to college, she went on to earn a master’s degree in moral philosophy and a law degree from Yale. After turning down six-figure-salary law firm offers in London and New York and starting a photography business with her husband, Justin— where they were later named one of the prestigious Profoto Legends of Light— they have since gone on to build a successful online education platform for thousands of creative entrepreneurs worldwide. The bestselling author of Dirt, which was a finalist for the 2020 ECPA Memoir of the Year, Mary is also the host of the highly-ranked podcast The Mary Marantz Show, which debuted in the iTunes Top 200. Her second book, Slow Growth Equals Strong Roots, was released in the Spring 2022. Her work has been featured on CNN, MSN, Business Insider, Bustle, Thrive Global, Southern Living, Hallmark Home & Family, and more. She and Justin live in an 1880s fixer-upper by the sea in New Haven, Connecticut, with their two very fluffy golden retrievers, Goodspeed and Atticus. Learn more at MaryMarantz.com
Connect with Mary: @marymarantz
Take the Achiever Quiz here: achieverquiz.com
Life Before Entrepreneurship
Mary's upbringing in rural West Virginia and her family's background
The significance of being the first in her family to attend college
Mary's experience at Yale law school and the promising career opportunities that awaited her
The pivotal moment when Mary and her husband chose to start a photography business instead of pursuing traditional law careers
The allure of a different lifestyle and the desire to witness each other's lives
The Decision to Pursue Entrepreneurship
Exploring Mary's mindset during the transition from law to entrepreneurship
The contrasting emotions of excitement and fear when faced with choosing an unconventional path
Overcoming societal expectations and the pressure to follow the secure route
The concept of "golden handcuffs" and how success can sometimes hold us back from taking new risks
Embracing the leap into the unknown and defying others' expectations
Embracing Change and Shifting Identities
Mary's second major pivot from photography to becoming an author
The struggle of changing one's identity and managing others' perceptions
The realization that multiple passions and roles can coexist under a unified personal brand
How photographers became some of Mary's most devoted readers, debunking the belief that she had to choose only one identity
Overcoming Fear and Taking Action
The Resistance and its familiar script that affects every entrepreneur
Encouragement to take action despite doubts and fears
Recognizing the predictable nature of the resistance and using it as motivation
Embracing the journey from survival to significance and making the leap to create a meaningful impact
Inspiring listeners to break free from societal expectations and pursue their own unique paths
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transcript
[00:00:00] Danielle: Welcome back to the podcast. Today we have another incredible guest who I am so excited to introduce you to. Her name is Mary Marantz who is a bestselling author of Dirt and Slow Growth equals Strong Roots. She's also a speaker and a podcaster and an entrepreneur. And on this episode, Mary shares her story of growing up in a trailer in rural West Virginia, going to law school at Yale and then turning down a six figure salary to pursue entrepreneurship. I'm so excited for you to hear this conversation. We dive into so many different topics, including building your dream, pivoting your brand, the fact that our thoughts determine our actions, which ultimately determine our results within our lives and our businesses, and also the value of slow growth.
[00:00:51] So grab a cup of coffee or a cup of tea and sit back. You are going to be so encouraged by this conversation that I have with [00:01:00] Mary. But before we get started, I wanted to send you a quick reminder to register for our business Breakthrough Online Conference. This is happening this coming Monday, January 30th and 31st. We are gonna have 18 top business leaders, including Mary, who you're about to hear from, from around the world. And they are gonna be sharing their biggest business breakthroughs as well as their tips and strategies on how to attract your ideal client, how to get massive exposure for your business, how to delegate effectively, how to transform your mindset, and so much more.
[00:01:36] You are gonna get so much value outta this conference and it's absolutely free to sign up. So you can go to businessbabescollective.com to register, and I'm very excited to see you there. Alright, now let's get started with our episode.
[00:01:51] Welcome to the Business Babes Collective podcast. I'm your host. Danielle Wiebe. In this podcast, you'll learn tangible business tips and [00:02:00] strategies on how to grow successfully and sustainably. We'll also interview seasoned entrepreneurs so you can listen in on their stories and see behind the scenes of what it took to grow and scale their businesses. Let's dive in as we discuss the wild, exciting, crazy challenging, rollercoaster ride of entrepreneurship.
[00:02:21] Welcome, Mary to the podcast. I'm so excited to have you here today.
[00:02:25] Mary: Oh my gosh. Thanks so much for having me. I, when I got your email, I was super excited and I, I feel like there's so much to talk about. I love what the work that you're doing, so I'm just really excited to be here.
[00:02:36] Danielle: Ah, I love it. Let's go ahead and dive in because I have heard so much about you. I have been following you and just following the work that you do, and I'm just really inspired by your story. So if you would take us back a little bit to what did life look like before you got into entrepreneurship?
[00:02:56] Mary: Oh gosh. Well, it depends on how far you wanna go back, but I'll kind of give everybody
[00:02:59] Danielle: however [00:03:00] much you wanna share.
[00:03:00] Mary: A movie trailer version of my life and I say movie trailer cuz literally there, there have been movies made like this. I grew up in a single wide trailer in very rural West Virginia on the top of a mountain. My dad's a logger. My mom and grandma cleaned houses. I'm the first in my family to go to college.
[00:03:18] And you fast forward that story and I end up at Yale for law school, which is sort of like I always say is like getting one of Willy Wonka's golden Tickets.
[00:03:26] Danielle: yes.
[00:03:27] Mary: So rare to find and it, it can lead to a very set life. And when I was graduating law school in 2006, I had met my now husband, then fiance, Justin. I had these law firm offers in London and New York. They had just been a summer courting us, taking us to, you know, Broadway shows and private parties at the London Eye and all this other stuff. And I had six figure offers to sign, plus signing bonuses, plus moving bonuses, and it was a very set, secure life. And that was [00:04:00] this one path was diverging out in front of us that that's one fork in the road.
[00:04:04] And the other side was for us to start a photography business together. Justin went to school at r I t, the number one photography school, and we wanted a life where we could be together and we could bear witness to each other's lives rather than me working a hundred hours at a law firm. And so I would say without a penny to our name or a clue what we are doing, we made this leap to choose unordinary. I don't even like the word extraordinary cuz it's just extraordinary. This unordinary life that was the opposite of set and secure and safe. Yeah.
[00:04:35] Danielle: Hmm. Wow. And I think as entrepreneurs we all come to somewhat of a crossroads of, okay, I can either choose this path or I can choose this other more secure, what we see as secure path for myself.
[00:04:52] Mary: Yeah.
[00:04:52] Danielle: So I would love to go back to your mindset at that time, was it this easy decision of oh yeah, this is [00:05:00] definitely the road. Or was it this scary? Like, I can't believe I'm giving up this incredible salary and benefits and you know, this comfortable life that you could have had for something that was so unknown. I'm curious to hear what was your mindset around that?
[00:05:16] Mary: Well, you know what's really interesting is that a lot of my life has sort of been defined by like Ross Geller' like pivot. It's like the life of the pivot. And interestingly, I'm, I, I think that's a really great question and I'm really glad you asked it because I can define two, there have been many, many, many, many leaps in our lives, but two major pivots, two major leaps that everybody said, what are you doing? And one was turning down Law firm offers to start a photography business. And then fast forward, spoiler alert, there 15 years, we built a hugely successful photography business.
[00:05:48] We hit every single goal we had for it. We spoke on the biggest stages. We were named Pro Photo Legends of Light. We traveled the world, photographing weddings and teaching other photographers. And just at the height of that I said, cool, [00:06:00] cool. I'm done with that. Now I'm not entirely done, but I'm gonna step away from that to go become an author and start over as a brand new, you know, newbie in that world. And so the first time we leaped, it really was this just sort of like, we're, we're living such a cool life, like we're risk takers leap and the net shall appear. And we did that coming off of being broke college students and law school students and not having a mortgage and not having a ton of responsibilities.
[00:06:28] Danielle: Right.
[00:06:28] Mary: And so in one way I think it was a lot easier to make that leap, whereas the second time around, we had a mortgage, we had employees, we had things that were working really well. And to step away from that into the unknown, ironically, was harder. You would think we would be more set up for it, but there is such a thing as the golden handcuffs of getting very used to that, this is working. This is good. Why would I give this up just to chase grades when it feels really scary? So I think, I think we've experienced both.
[00:06:57] Danielle: Wow. I, I love that so much [00:07:00] because you kind of embody this entrepreneurial spirit of like when you have this idea or when you have something that you wanna pursue, you just have to do it.
[00:07:10] Like no matter if it makes sense or it's like the smart thing to do whatever, like you need to go for it. And I think a lot of us entrepreneurial, entrepreneurs can relate to that of you just have this thing inside of you that's like, no, I need to do something different. I need to pivot, whatever that is for you. And so I would love to hear, you built this successful photography business with your husband. You had a team, you had all these things, and then you pivoted to become an author.
[00:07:42] Mary: Mm-hmm.
[00:07:43] Danielle: And was there ever like a moment where you worried what other people would think as well? Because if you have kind of created this success and you're, maybe, at that point, potentially used to having different awards and you know, you [00:08:00] said you were speaking on panels and different things, and so to go from that to something else - where you kind of at all concerned with what are other people gonna think about?
[00:08:09] Mary: A hundred percent. A hundred percent. That's, that's, yeah, I wanna talk about that cuz that is such a great question. First I wanna bounce back really quickly to that moment you were describing that every entrepreneur knows of like, you see this life you could live, chasing that dream, building that life working for yourself and Michael Gerber in the EMyth, which I think every single person listening to this should go read.
[00:08:31] Stands for entrepreneurial myth. Um, talk calls that the entrepreneurial seizure, it's like the record kind of, you know, and it starts spinning the other direction and you can never unsee it. And I had that when we were starting the photography business, and I had it again for, I, I felt called to be an author my entire life.
[00:08:48] And it was like when the ti, when the moment was there, it was like the record scratched again. And so in both cases, a hundred percent, there's that fear of what are people gonna think? Um, you know, [00:09:00] When I was giving up, essential, I just spent three years paying for the number one law school in the country, which is not cheap. Right?
[00:09:08] Danielle: Yeah.
[00:09:09] Mary: The most expensive way to become a wedding photographer that I have found yet is to pay for an, you know, Ivy League Law School.
[00:09:16] Danielle: You found it. You found the way.
[00:09:18] Mary: And I remember there was from my hometown, there was a mom of sort of like, A, a friend who was not really a friend, you know, like that, kind of like a friend of me, I guess.
[00:09:27] Danielle: Mm-hmm.
[00:09:27] Mary: And she said to me when she had heard the news, you know, oh, all that's schooling. And I think there was a lot of, you know, she was sort of reveling in that like
[00:09:38] Danielle: mm-hmm
[00:09:38] Mary: golden girl gone wrong, you know, golden Girl went crazy and lost her mind kind of thing. So there was definitely a lot of eyes on that and, It was, I, you know, I sort of used that as the fuel to drive me of like, you know, underestimate me, that'll be fun, kind of thing. And so a hundred percent that. And then, I think, with the second leap, it was much more about me feeling like I [00:10:00] had to change the identity, like the brand, the conversation around my name, like people were so used to calling me a photographer that I felt, unless I just completely cut that off and said, no, I'm an author now.
[00:10:11] I would never get people to think of me differently. And two, almost three years into that journey, I mean, I guess four years from when I signed my book contract, I now realize that was a mistake. That it was false to believe I had to choose, that I could only be one thing in order to be taken seriously. And photographers have become some of my most devoted readers.
[00:10:31] Danielle: Mm-hmm.
[00:10:31] Mary: and the people who share the books the most. And so I'm now realizing I can actually embrace all of these things that really kind of fall under the umbrella as, of Mary the storyteller.
[00:10:40] Danielle: Hmm. That is so cool. And what would you say to someone who, maybe, cuz from what it sounds like you have felt that fear of, okay, what are other people gonna think?
[00:10:51] What if this doesn't work out? There's all those fears that come in, but you're taking action anyways and you're, you seem like a very action oriented [00:11:00] person, which I feel like that's probably why I was drawn to you so much cuz I'm also an action-oriented person. I kind of leap before I am ready often, and that has its good and bad things about it. What would you, what would you say to someone who feels stuck in that?
[00:11:17] Mary: Mm-hmm.
[00:11:17] Danielle: They maybe are in a position right now where they're in either a comfy job or a position where things feel really comfortable and safe, but they also feel this like pull and drive to do something else?
[00:11:31] Mary: Mm-hmm.
[00:11:31] Danielle: what would be your thoughts or an advice for them?
[00:11:35] Mary: Yeah, I have a lot of passion. Passionate words around this topic. It, it's a big part of the book. My second book, slow Growth equals Strong Roots. We talk a lot about this, all of this, Stephen Presfield calls it the Resistance that would love to show up the second we're about to do the thing we were created to do.
[00:11:52] And so I did this reel not too long ago that was like, let me just, let me just see if I get it. Um, it's all been done. It's all been done better. It's all been done by [00:12:00] somebody the world actually wants to pay attention to. I can't start until it's perfect. I can't start until I know every single step of the blueprint to get there.
[00:12:07] What if I start and I can't stay consistent? What if I start and the critics come? What if they say, who does she think she is? I feel like an imposter. I feel like a fraud. What if I let people down? And it's like, I'm pretty sure somebody listening. I got at least a few of 'em. Right?
[00:12:20] Danielle: Yeah.
[00:12:20] Mary: And that's what's the good news about that is that the resistance is actually really boring. It uses the same script almost predictably on every one of us. I do a lot of coaching now from, you know, helping women get unstuck and they'll say something like, oh, well, who's gonna care about this when that art exists from her? And I'll go, and right on time. Right? That showed up right on. You're right on schedule.
[00:12:42] And so one of the things that has been absolutely life-changing for me in the last even year, and it's something that I always try to make sure that I share, is there is this spectrum that has been identified. This part is not mine. They talk about you have to move from survival to stability to success [00:13:00] and then significance.
[00:13:01] And so my whole life I thought it was just this kind of like evenly spaced trajectory between those steps. Get out of survival of I grew up in this trailer and things were hard. Let things be stable, then be successful to the world, and then die a life of significance, right?
[00:13:15] Danielle: Mm-hmm.
[00:13:16] Mary: that will be the intended path. What I actually sort of like an epiphany that came to me in the last 12 months sometime, is that the first three, survival, stability, and success. Go up a, a mountain, but to actually make that leap into significance. You get there and you think it's connected, and it turns out it's Keanu Reeve style. The bridge is, it's finished on the map, but not in real life.
[00:13:40] And you have to make this leap. The first three are all about you. You surviving, you feeling stable, you feeling successful, you doing the things you think will make the world look at you a certain way. And that gap, that leap we have to really take, believing that the net will appear or we don't even need it, we we're gonna get to the other side, [00:14:00] is we stop thinking about what if criticism comes for us? What if we're disappointed? What if we try and we fail? And we start asking, but who might it help? But who might it help? Right? We stop asking all of these things that are really just about what our fears are, and we think about who it might serve and people who want to serve start.
[00:14:24] And so the way I think we start to make that shift between those two, Inward versus outward perspectives is through capacity. And capacity, I'm gonna define a self-trust. It's this I have a track record of I've been able to show up and do it before. And for a lot of us, like me who grew up and we didn't have a lot, we can end up having this capacity that feels like a shot glass size and anything beyond that, anytime it starts to get a little more abundant or comfortable beyond that, we unintentionally self sabotage back down into our container we fit in.
[00:14:56] and I had Dr. Allison Cook on my podcast, [00:15:00] uh, about her new book, the Best of You, and she has this part where she says, the way that, we do that we reparent ourselves, is we prove to ourselves there is a grownup in the room who can be trusted, and that grownup is us.
[00:15:12] And we set small commitments to ourselves, small but important commitments, and we keep them, and then we keep another one and another one, and we start to believe that we are the people who can show up. We're going to be fine at survival, stability, and success. Safety allows us to start to make it about other people.
[00:15:31] Danielle: Oh, that is so good. So good. And really, Owning a business is all about how do we serve others? How do we serve our communities? How do we serve our clients, our customers? So I love that you shared that and when we take it off of it all having to be about us, it also like takes the pressure off.
[00:15:50] Because I think most of the things that hold us back, like you said, are things that we have either experienced in life or we've, [00:16:00] either, things have been proven or we've proven to ourselves that we can't or what, that we won't or we don't have enough confidence, or we're not skilled enough or, or smart enough or whatever it is. And then we hold ourselves back. But I love that you shared that. Thank you so, so much for sharing that. I think that's so important and vital for people to hear.
[00:16:20] So when it comes to growing a business, growing a personal brand, which you've done. What are some of the biggest challenges that you face in that? Like what are some of the growing pains? And I would love for you to share like not only the tactical things, but also like in your, your story and your journey, which I'm so excited to, to actually dive into and learn, learn more about as well.
[00:16:46] But how have you overcome some of those challenges and especially. When it comes up with your mindset challenges? Because it's really hard to, you know, shift our mindsets when we are [00:17:00] programmed to think a certain way about things or even about life in general, or how the world works. So I would love for you to talk a little bit about that.
[00:17:09] Mary: Yeah. Oh gosh, I love this question. Um, when I was growing up, my dad would say to me, go to college. You're getting out. You can be anything you wanna be. But it in the same breath, you know, if I would say, well what about you? Why don't you try this with your business? Why don't you know what if you did this?
[00:17:25] He would say, he would get really frustrated with me. And he would say, kid, cuz he always called me kid. This is the way it is. This is the way it was. This is the way it always will be. And my dad is a living, breathing example of our thoughts determine our lives, our lives. He expected it to always be a struggle.
[00:17:42] And it has been. And that is not to say to dismiss struggles or to dismiss the challenges people are up against, but I would say that, if we look at the trajectory of our two lives, the difference was that he had a fixed mindset and I had a growth mindset. And [00:18:00] every time I get really, you know, listen, I, I talk about this in dirt.
[00:18:03] I watched him inherit this business when my grandpa passed away really suddenly, it was two years in, maybe three or four, and he had driven the business into the ground. We were watching the, our logging trucks drive away from, you know, the bank came to get them. And there's always been this fear in me that being bad at business is wired into my dna, and that I am, I'm destined to repeat those loops.
[00:18:28] And every time I catch myself thinking that I think, in no way am I a fixed, static thing on the shelf. Every day I get the chance to learn. Every person brought into my life can be a guide versus, you know, just there to make me feel bad or jealous about what I don't have yet. And i, I hope that on my deathbed I have just learned something new. I never wanna stop learning.
[00:18:51] I never wanna get stuck. I never wanna stop adapting. And so I would say that's the biggest mindset is not saying do everything. Cuz one of the [00:19:00] biggest things you have to do as a business owner is learn to delegate and outsource. But to never start to speak over yourself. I'm just somebody who, for example, procrastinates.
[00:19:09] This is another topic I'm very passionate about cuz I do struggle with procrastinating on the big things, right? I, my very first podcast episode I ever released is why I almost never wrote the book, and it's because I thought it had to be in perfect manuscript form or you would get turned down and that would be your one shot and that would be it.
[00:19:25] Danielle: Mm-hmm.
[00:19:26] Mary: I thought it was just one or nothing. And I said in that episode, what I've learned is that in life and in books and in business, you get drafts. Drafts and drafts and drafts as many drafts as it takes. And so I, I think that's probably it, as anytime I start to say something like, oh, I'm just, I'm a person who procrastinates.
[00:19:43] I'm a person who just like gets stuck and I don't move forward on the big things. I go, or is my procrastination really just an alarm bell going off? Because secretly, I think if I can make it perfect, that's the only way to be safe. When in reality John Acuff says 90% there and shared with the world will always [00:20:00] change more lives than a hundred percent perfect and never once hit send.
[00:20:03] Danielle: Mm-hmm.
[00:20:04] Mary: Right. So that's, that's sort of how I think about it, is yes, this has been true, but I'm a person who's showing up every day and proving there is a grownup in the room you can trust. It's you.
[00:20:14] Danielle: I love that so much cuz how many of us have ideas in our head that we wanna do one day or we wanna pursue, or you know, all of these things that we think about doing, but how many times do we actually take action on it?
[00:20:28] Mary: Yeah.
[00:20:28] Danielle: How many times do we actually put it into the world? And I think that I, I can so resonate with that. And for me, it was actually starting my podcast, cuz I thought about starting a podcast two years before I ever launched it.
[00:20:40] Mary: Mm-hmm.
[00:20:41] Danielle: And same thing I thought I had, I don't have anything to share. No one's gonna care to hear my story. I was so used to putting other people, you know, front and center, which we still get to do on this podcast, which is so amazing. But I didn't think anyone wanted to hear specifically from me.
[00:20:59] And so [00:21:00] I love that you shared that because I, it's so resonates with me and I think it's gonna resonate with our listeners so much just on you know, the things that you're passionate about are the things that you have as ideas or thoughts or things that are pulling your attention are there for a reason.
[00:21:17] Mary: Yeah.
[00:21:17] Danielle: They're not just things that you're like, oh yeah, that's an idea, but that's for someone else or
[00:21:22] Mary: mm-hmm.
[00:21:23] Danielle: That, that's not something that I could ever do. And I love that you, that I love that you shared that you called yourself a perfectionist. Um, or sorry, the procrastinator because, the way that we talk to ourselves is so key too. And we actually just talked about this on a previous episode of the podcast and the things that we say to ourselves or the, or the things that we put on ourselves.
[00:21:43] And I was, I've been like realizing lately how many things that I have put on myself. Like even I have this new commitment where I'm getting up early in the morning before my daughter wakes up, so I can have some time. And I would always tell myself that I, I'm [00:22:00] not a morning person, I'm not a morning person. I'm not a morning person. But now I feel like a morning person. Like I'm
[00:22:06] Mary: yeah.
[00:22:06] Danielle: Waking up early. I actually have more energy. I'm going to bed earlier. And it's crazy how our mind can really play tricks on us when it comes to. Getting where we wanna go.
[00:22:19] Mary: Yeah, yeah.
[00:22:20] Danielle: In entrepreneurship. Yeah.
[00:22:22] Mary: You know what I love about that is it reminds me of two videos I saw recently on Instagram. You know, like when you actually paused to watch a video, Instagram then serves up more videos like that.
[00:22:30] Danielle: Yeah.
[00:22:30] Mary: Um, and so one of them was, Simon Sinek and he, I love all things. Simon Sinek, the Start With Why is an incredible book, and he was talking about how our brains are incapable of thinking in the negative and he not, not negative thinking. That's a different thing. He said, thinking in the negative. He said, here's the proof. Don't think of an elephant. And of course your brain instantly pulls up a picture of an elephant. And it was like whatever you are telling your brain, whether you're saying, I want this thing or I don't want this thing, it draws you to that [00:23:00] thing, right?
[00:23:00] So like for example, if you want to get out of debt, you don't think about the debt, you think about the good habits you're putting in place, or you think about money, booking something you did unexpected, like being grateful for that, whatever the case may be. And the other video was from Oprah, like circa like nineties.
[00:23:17] Um, she was on, on her actual talk show and she had somebody on and he had her hold like a, a necklace with a pendant. And he said, now you're gonna see that it doesn't just stay still, that it's gonna start to move side to side. And he is like, now I want you to just think about the necklace moving front to back. And it started to move. And he is like, now I want you to think about circles. That started to move and then bigger circles, and now listen, you could argue that Oprah was doing it. Somebody's moving the Ouija board, whatever, like, I don't know.
[00:23:42] But it was really powerful to think about. He was like, everything, every cell in your body is responding to the thoughts in your head. And I thought that was really powerful. Right.
[00:23:52] Danielle: Wow.
[00:23:52] Mary: Like, like I'm not trying to get into like super woowoo deep stuff, but we are kidding ourselves if we think that there [00:24:00] isn't this connection between what we we're thinking of our lives and the actions we're taking.
[00:24:05] Danielle: Wow, that is so, so powerful because again, of course when it comes to building a successful business, there's so many things that go into it.
[00:24:15] There's, you know, the tactical, the strategy and all of that, but so much of it is the thoughts that we think and also the people that we surround ourself with. So I would love to, I would love for you to speak on that for a moment. In what, what has community meant to you in building your businesses? What has surrounding yourself with people that inspire you or learning from people who inspire you? What has that meant in the growth of your business?
[00:24:44] Mary: Yeah, a hundred percent. I, I love that quote from Denzel Washington that says, your people should clap when something good happens to you.
[00:24:53] Danielle: Mm-hmm.
[00:24:53] Mary: if something you've been dreaming of happens and your people don't clap, you need another circle.
[00:24:58] Danielle: Wow.
[00:24:58] Mary: And, um, I [00:25:00] saw a similar video that was just talking about like your, like, choose the people whose eyes light up when you walk in the room. And so many of us spend way too much of our lives and our careers chasing people who cannot be bothered to turn around and really see us. And in turn, here's the really, here's the punch in the gut, danielle, this one really hit me hard when I was writing my second book and I talk about. it's in it. We forget that there's somebody behind us right now who would give anything for us to turn around and see them.
[00:25:30] Danielle: Wow.
[00:25:31] Mary: And so, you know, it talks about like, I had this dream where I'm like pushing through a crowd, trying to get to this author I looked up to because I knew if I could just like put dirt, my first book in her hands, then she would flip it open to a paragraph, see that I had what it takes, tap me on the forehead, tap me on the shoulder, tap to tag me in that post, and suddenly I would've arrived.
[00:25:49] When in reality, When we're constantly chasing people just to prove our worth, people who don't, their eyes don't light up when we walk in the room, we are expending all of this energy. [00:26:00] that never had to happen because, the approval that we're looking for, the permission that we're looking for is in those inherent gifts and story. I always say the place where your gifts meet your story has the power to change lives. And for me, my faith is important. So what God says about where I am headed,
[00:26:16] Danielle: mm-hmm.
[00:26:16] Mary: is the only permission and approval that I need. And so, Really paying attention to, are your people clapping? Are your people for you? Do they look at you and see the magic? And I wrote this post that said, your people should be mirrors, not microscopes.
[00:26:32] Mirrors will hold up in front of you to show you who you are and who you are becoming. Microscopes hold you in one place for closer scrutiny, right? And so choose your people wisely. Choose the mirrors in your life.
[00:26:45] Danielle: Wow. Wow. So good. I could talk to you forever.
[00:26:50] Mary: Same.
[00:26:51] Danielle: Um, I would love to ask you what are you most, you've accomplished so much? And also, it's just so [00:27:00] inspiring, the reason why I love this conversation is because, you had all the excuses of why you couldn't.
[00:27:09] Mary: Mm-hmm.
[00:27:09] Danielle: why you shouldn't, you know all of these things that could have held you back from pursuing what you pursued, but you did it anyways. And so I think that that is such a cool story to anyone who feels like because of their past experiences or because of how they were brought up or whatever that is, that it's not possible for them. Like, oh, it was easy for her. She had this, she had that, whatever it was.
[00:27:35] Mary: Mm-hmm.
[00:27:35] Danielle: And so I love your story. What are you most proud of, of your entrepreneurial journey so far?
[00:27:43] Mary: Oh my gosh. Oh, you know, I think the first thing that I need to say that's really important is, um, I wrote about this, I feel like all my sense she, like I wrote about this in that book, but I wrote, I've clearly spent a lot of time thinking about this and um, I have written about this. So it's [00:28:00] this idea of, you know, when you're in junior high or middle school and you look at the high school seniors, you think they're so grown up.
[00:28:09] They're about to go out, leave home. They're driving. They're, I mean, where I grew up, sometimes people were engaged. Um, I mean, it was, that was so grown up. And you think, when I get to that place, that's how I'm, how I imagine that they feel is how I'm gonna feel. And then you get to being a high school senior and the goal, the chains have already moved, right?
[00:28:30] Danielle: Mm-hmm.
[00:28:30] Mary: the, the target has already moved. You are now looking at the people graduating college and actually getting married or getting a job or moving to a new town to start that job, whatever the case is. And so you are never the same person when you achieve a goal as you are when you set the goal.
[00:28:46] Danielle: Right.
[00:28:47] Mary: And I say all of that very long-winded to say, even though I can recognize and say all of these things have happened, there's a very real [00:29:00] human thing that says, but I, but, but when I get there, then I'll feel different. When I, when that happens, then I'll feel different. And so a huge journey of writing slow growth and living slow growth, cuz man, don't write a book unless you wanna have that area of your life completely flipped over, has been figuring out what it looks like to fall in love with right now.
[00:29:18] And we, you know, we had a bus tour, Justin and I, our faces splashed on the side coast to Coast, 12 City Tour called the What's Next Tour. And I feel like the journey of my life the last 12 months has been really like, What's now, what's, what's right in front of you? What can you all, I could point in this room alone to a hundred answered prayers.
[00:29:38] Danielle: Hmm.
[00:29:39] Mary: And it's so easy to miss that. It's so easy to get so focused on the next thing. So that's the preface that I will say is that in a very real human way, it never feels like enough. And when somebody says like, you've accomplished so much, there's this moment of like, oh my gosh, she's talking about me, that's right. Yeah I've done some stuff.
[00:29:54] Danielle: Who's this behind me?
[00:29:56] Mary: Yeah. So I just, I don't, I really wanna acknowledge that 'cuz, [00:30:00] it, that feeling never goes away.
[00:30:01] Danielle: Mm-hmm.
[00:30:01] Mary: no matter how hard you work on it, that that's like the battle of day of every day is like, how can I fall in love with the journey? In fact, like I, um, two years ago heard a quote that said, don't set goals, set intention, because goals you celebrate on one day when you achieve the goal.
[00:30:16] Intention is, I am every day, I'm becoming the person who will one day stand in that goal, which means you get to celebrate every day. Given all that huge disclaimer, if I had to choose one, Dirt, writing that story, writing that book that was my get hit by a bus book, right? We really had conversations of like, should you write a different book for your first book so you can learn the ropes and then save that for your second book when you know all the steps so you can really like make the most of your story?
[00:30:41] But I ultimately decided to write that one first because if I only ever got the chance to write one book, if I got that out into the world and got hit by a bus, that was the message. That was the message I wanted to get out there. So I'll say that.
[00:30:52] Danielle: So cool. Okay. Amazing. So, other than buying your book Dirt, cuz I'm about to [00:31:00] buy it on Amazon right now, how else? How can people find you? How can people learn more about you be in your world? I would love to hear all the places and things.
[00:31:10] Mary: Yeah. So the general hub, if you go to and take you to all the different places, is marymarantz.Com, that's M A R A N T Z and that will take you, you can click over to the podcast, which is the Mary Marantz Show and the two books, dirt and Slow Growth equals Strong Roots, blog posts, things like that.
[00:31:26] We actually also have, I put together to go along with slow growth, cuz that is about giving up achieving for your worth, finding grace, freedom, and purpose in an overachieving world. And in the book you're introduced to five different characters. Who are this woman always performing.
[00:31:40] There's the performer, like a ballerina, there's the tightrope walker, the masquerader, the illusionist in the distance, and the contortionist. And they are all driven to go after things for different reasons. Depending on will the goal change how you see yourself? Will the goal change how other people see you?
[00:31:57] So performer does it to make both. Change [00:32:00] how they see themselves, how other people see how far they've come. Tightrope Walker could care less who's clapping, but they want that higher and higher dopamine hits. Contortionist is not particularly driven by goals, but they wanna twist themselves up into knots to please other people. And both the masquerader and the illusionists get stuck, the masquerader, because they're afraid of letting themselves or other people down the illusionists because they can't start until it's perfect.
[00:32:21] And so if you go to achieverquiz.com or marymarantz.com/quiz, they'll both take you, it takes like two minutes to take the quiz. And that will tell you what your type is, what your strengths are, where you get tripped up, and what you do to move forward and to purpose from here. And then @marymarantz on Instagram, come send me a DM if you listen to this @marymarantz. And uh, yeah, I'd love to hear your thoughts.
[00:32:43] Danielle: Well, thank you so much for being on. Thank you so much for sharing your story. And I can't wait for our community to get to know you more and dive in more. And also, I want to say that we're so excited to have you a part of our [00:33:00] conference. Our Business Breakthrough conference is gonna be happening on January 30th and 31st. We added another day because we've had so many incredible speakers jump on board.
[00:33:09] Mary: Whoa!
[00:33:09] Danielle: So , we're so excited. And so if you want to hear more about Mary and also just about her business breakthrough. And ask her questions. It's gonna be live, which is really fun. So you can come hang out with us and yeah, thank you so much for being on. Thank you for your time, and we'll see you in just a couple weeks.
[00:33:30] Mary: Yeah, I can't wait. Thank you.
[00:33:36] If you love this episode, make sure you screenshot, post and tag us on Instagram @businessbabesco. Want to know when the next episode goes live? Subscribe on your podcast app and while you're there, leave us a review. Until next time, keep dreaming big, setting goals and taking action.[00:34:00]